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Can guys and girl just be friends?
By Felix Hung
A long discussed question: Can guys and girls be platonic friends with no attraction? My short answer is NO. Men and women cannot just be friends for the most part. With a few exceptions are I will discuss here. Usually I get a lot of resistance right about now because people want to believe they have true friends of the opposite sex. Here is how relationships work (sex of the person mentioned is not important): guy meets girl and has an attraction for the girl. girl does not have an attraction for the guy. girl makes it known by defining the relationship (DTR) and letting him know that she just wants to be friends. guy can accept and respect her decision or have no relationship at all with her. Girl meets guy, girl is not attracted to guy but is attracted to his hobbies. Guy is attracted to girl and wants more than a friendship. If he is direct about it, there will be a time in the near future where he will have to DTR and face possible rejection. Since most guys are wimps, he'll just keep dropping hints and holding onto hope there could be more than a friendship. I could go on and on with examples here, but the bottom line is this: one of the two parties had an attraction of some kind for the other. That is how relationships begin. That attraction, if recipricated could lead to a long term friendship or a romantic relationship, but then one of the two would have to DTR. And, this is for the women reading now: your guy friends if they had an attraction for you before (ANYTIME BEFORE) would love to be with you given the opportunity today if the conditions were right. It is so funny to hear women say, "oh, he's just a friend. He doesn't see me like that." If there was an attraction and conditions are right, the spark could come back. There are no exceptions to this rule. I have have many conversations with people who believed they found an exception, but when you boil it down to the facts, they all admitted that they or the other did have an attraction or admiration before. |
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Your DTR sure leads to thought provoking time, Felix.
Thank you for sharing.
Best wishes.
Frederick
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Fred, hopefully you didn't find the intel hard to read. I wrote it in fragments on purpose. Glad you got something out of it.
From my "experience", I think I'd have to agree with you on this. Platonic relationships are difficult to maintain.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
We can try can't we? We're only human.
I have always had tons of platonic friendships with men but somewhere in there at some point there does always seem to be one person who is more interested than just friendship and sometimes a discussion has to occur, other times it passes over and the friendship can continue. I have very good friends who are men who are married (we were friends prior to their marriage as well.) also there are those male friends who are gay, lol
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
so...ms lotuspetal, do you agree? there are various reasons why your guy friends did not make the moves on you, but I'm glad it seems like most of your guy friends moved past the awkward attraction stage fast.
You're game.
CONTRIBUTOR'S REPLY
Game Reg? I don't follow...
The copyright for this content entitled "Can guys and girl just be friends?" has been specified by the contributor as:
Public Domain
The copyright for this content has been relinquished by the author. The content may be used freely by anyone.
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This intel was contributed by Felix Hung
Felix Hung
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May, 2012
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